Ever get that feeling when you have so much to do, everything's getting on top of you, yet you don't have the energy or inclination to do a goddamn thing about it apart from fret? That's just how I'm feeling this evening.

The cottage and garden are a total mess, I can't be arsed with eBay, I need to sort the $ situation and pay the bills and life seems to be all about work - leaving no time for other things. I have a poorly stomach after eating some polony type sausage and not bothering to check the ingredients panel, the decorators are due in (and I want a Caramac and don't have one!) and FFS I have chipped nail varnish. You may think Rustic Pikeys are not very bothered about nails, but it is one thing I do try and keep nice which is not easy when you're up to your eyeballs in mud/dirt/dust etc. Even this website's a mess and the page order is all out of synch. Plus to top it all I have been eaten alive by mozzies and am trying hard not to itch!
As an expert procrastinator I know I do have the capacity to continue until it gets to the point where doing the jobs are better than worrying about them.  So this is to give myself a break and stop worrying, stop doing anything at all for a night and just have a vent. Writing is actually really good ways to get things into perspective. Hell, I feel better already. No really! Tomorrow is another day, and I can feel a new list coming on. The real test will be whether I crack on with stuff tomorrow or procrastinate some more. I feel llike I'm carting round a massive bag of rocks, so tomorrow will be the day to offload them and check in and tell you just how it's done. Stage 1 is rest and relax... (with wine!)

I have been neglecting this site lately so thought I would share some growing tips with you today. I am meant to be spending my lunch break sorting out the finances, but as usual I would rather do anything but that. Growing apricots is an excellent diversion. We can talk about Rustic Pikey finances another time.

I got some apricots the other day for 9p (do visit supermarkets late in the evenings before they close - we also got celery, rocket and grapes for pence as well). After eating the apricots I figured it would be pretty cool to grow some but I didn't know how. I found a good blog showing how it's done but the description was even more long-winded than even I can be after a pint or so of wine.

The simple technique is:
1. Buy cheap apricots and eat them.
2. Save the pips, and dry them out for a few days. They are meant to be ready when they rattle. Mine never rattled but I got bored after 5 days so decided to do step 3; which is...
3. Wrap them in a tea towel and bash them with a hammer (not too hard, you need the seed inside intact).
4. Discard shells and put the seeds in a bowl of water. They stay in there for 3 days. Change the water daily. Keep them out of the way of pikelets and pets as they're toxic.
5. Wrap them in wet paper towel and put them in a sealable food bag in the fridge for 5-6 weeks. Don't forget about them!
6. They should be sprouting by the time they come out, and can be planted indoors in pots.

The ideal time to do this is summer / autumn so that the seeds have their eary simulated winter period in the fridge before being brought on inside over the real winter. They can go outdoors in spring. They don't like to be too hot, so the UK climate should be fine for them. Apparently they make good bushes and will grow fine in larger pots. Whether or not they will fruit is questionable, but they're free plants so whos complaining. I hope I have more success with these than my piss poor attempts at growing lemons and limes.

Talking of bushes, Rude Tube featured an excellent clip about alternative names for the "lady garden"

Interesting. Hope he wins!
This is quite good; it's way old from 2008 but worth a read. I especially like the response from Daniel L Kelly: "That's why I prefer to call them cunts." (in reply to Jack El Biscuit's comment about indie kids using the word "chav"). Jack El Biscuit agreed saying "It's a word for all people."
Well I think using the word "pikey" is perfectly acceptable when describing me or any of my RP pals providing it's preceded with "Rustic" and never used as as an insult towards Gypsy folk. Perhaps we can give it it's true meaning and then people won't use it in a racist context towards people they shouldn't. That'd be a result.
168 Unique visits today - very good work fellow Rustic Pikeys! Only 10 followers on Twitter though, so don't be shy and The Rustic Pikey will always follow you back. 
Just a little note concerning the above. Some misinformed and ignorant lower specimens in our society refer to our Gypsy, Romany and traveller friends as "pikeys". This is derogatory and unacceptable. The Rustic Pikey respects these people, and would like it to be known that this site does not advocate the use of the "Pikey" word to describe them.
So what is a Rustic Pikey then? A Rustic Pikey is me or someone like me and this site is basically a piss take of my own life-style and I am not a traveller, Romany nor Gypsy but I do support their heritage and beliefs.
I thought I would put this on the blog in case someone is googling "pikey" in ignorance and comes up with this site instead. I know there are some people out there who dislike Gypsies, but I for one would welcome them to live nearby. We have a load of scrap metal waiting for the next lot when they drive by, so if you are a Gypsy then stop by - you'll be welcomed.  
Great Rustic Pikey party here last night. Well, to be honest it wasn't a proper RP party because it was Mr RP's sister's engagement do and they just used the premises. This is actually ideal because it means limited preparation and outlay and all the fun of a gathering. Plus there are added benefits of the control of the music and getting to keep the leftovers.

I might put a party section on the proper site in due course because of the importance of a good RP knees up, but here are a few pointers to be going on with:

1. There is nothing worse than cleaning up the next day after a party with an over-hang so in order to minimise mess - use disposable plates, cutlery etc. Put several bins around so RP guests use them instead of leaving them around for you to collect up next day. Note - paper plates are good for burning. Also put a few recycling boxes around for empties.

2. Make sure there are plenty of ash trays. The Rustic Pikey has numerous large ones acquired from various sources (mainly beer gardens) but terracotta plant pots filled with sand are good for the garden.

3. Do any food in advance to avoid missing valuable drinking time at the party.

4. Make good use of leftovers. Even if they are only going to the RP dog, ferret and chickens it still gives you a day or so of free feed.

5. Keep some booze aside for the following day's clear up operation. If you heed 1 and 2, it shouldn't be too bad but it is a lot less evil when you can enjoy a hair of the dog. You may not feel like heading out to purchase more drink, so a small readily available supply put by can be a god-send.

6. Keep pikelets out of the way if possible, but on some occasions it may be necessary to include them (like last night). Keep them busy with a few jobs - for example collecting rubbish for burning. They can also look after any RP dogs attending.

7. Be prepared to make some allowances if you are allowing use of the RP residence to others for a "third party" party... For example, at the engagement, a lot of pink balloons turned up (although they were illuminated which lessened the blow) and pink decorations including rose petals, glitter, bubbles and banners. These are not RP, but sometimes you have to live and let live. After a few drinks they become very much more acceptable and even fun. The RP dog enjoys bursting balloons.

8. The aim of the RP party is to create a pub type atmosphere. This can be achieved easily in a proper RP abode although some rejigging of the furniture can be needed. A bar type vibe can be created by using several groups of tables and chairs each lit by candles in bottles. As a RP you will have plenty of bar equipment to create an authentic feel. 

And that is pretty much it for this evening because The Rustic Pikey is knackered!

Good day yesterday. Walked Mr Brown and met one of our neighbours on the way back. Dougie helped her trim some roses and we gave her some eggs. 
Supper of Chorizo & chickpea soup with dump-scones washed down with a significant enough amount of wine to give me quite a sore head. Neighbour behind is not helping as he has hired a digger and is "moving some earth" with it. I have put that in inverted commas because he has been doing it since 8am and is still going at 1:30pm. Quite how long it takes to do this I have no idea but the earth piles looked quite small yesterday. Maybe he is just enjoying the digger. My head is not. Quiet day planned and the tonight off to see the Accelerators. Will hopefully be back on form by the evening and a nice "cleansing" supper. 
Dougie did my hair last night which is now dark brown again and I have a proper fringe. V pleased.
This is wicked if it works....




Hmm back to work today. Just finished. Did quite a bit extra for job No.1 so as to have a better day tomorrow, then a quick break for supper and then job No.2. Just finished. I have designed an ad today! Also happy as I wrote a Rockin is our Bizness feature a while ago, and have got green light for publication. I do honestly feel like "the work experience girl" sometimes as it's all a big learning curve. Having a nice hair of dog vodka and coke to unwind. Fire is on in the garden so off out for a sit down.
Said bye bye to our last ginger hen yesterday (Lady Marmalade). She enjoyed her last supper of sweetcorn soup and some fresh green leaves from the garden.
Dougie shot a wood pigeon which we are intending to have for tea next week. He needs a couple more though... I like to shoot tin cans. Have also been playing some chords on the guitar and man are my fingers sore today. Bit over hung due to wine on an empty tummy yesterday. Why is it that I was good all weekend and then the night before going back to work I manage to get totally hammered!? Scraped myself out of bed and gorged on white chocolate, dry roast nuts, ice cream and a can of cold hot dog sausages. Had the bright idea of completely cleaning the stove last night but needless to say iut didn't get finished so this morning I had to wait 2 fucking hours for the dishwasher to finally get all the rings and hot plates out and back on again for my bucket of coffee. Also after burning the old kettle dry we only have tiny little red one (it's very RP and an antique one from Eastern Europe) but you can't fit a lot of water in it. Also coffee tastes a bit cidery as I make mulled spiced cider sometimes.
Don't forget Angry Boys is on tonight!